I sort of have a green thumb.

I’ve always wanted to have a garden. As I was growing up, we didn’t have too much going on  besides tulips. Over the years, my parents tried to grow things, but I don’t think they had the magic touch. Moreover, we had a huge maple-like tree out front that wouldn’t allow anything but crab grass to grow.

Now that we have a house, my money has and is being spent on landscaping. I can finally have the yard I’ve always dreamt about! Too bad my yard is a wreck and goddamn plants are expensive. But I still try.

We bought our house in the winter when all the superman-ish weeds had died. We didn’t really know what we were getting into. When I talk about the weeds we had, I don't mean some dandelion shit. I'm talking six foot thistle. Six Freakin Feet. Taller than myself. This shit just kept poppin up and I just kept pulling it out. If it got too big, (the stuff grows fast), I would douse it with poison. We even hired a lawn company, but then I sent them pictures of how shitty of a job they were doing, they stopped coming.

We had to take matters in to our own thumbs. When I say we I really mean mostly me. Ryan does the big hard stuff like try not to cut his limbs off with the chainsaw. I do the rest. His arm is fucked up right now, so I have to let it rest until winter. Need the man for snow shovelin.

Here are some before and after picks.

Horrible Bushes

More Horrible Bushes

Sorry this is so dark, I took it the day the wood cutters came to take down this shitty spikey ball
droppin tree. I still occasionally find them in my yard. Gum Trees, I wish them on my enemies.

No Bushes! Thanks Ryan

  

Here's the beautiful Kwanzan Cherry Tree to replace the nasty ones

FYI, I am def getting some flack from Ryan about why I didn't get all yellow mums. Sorry!

Instead of those monster bushes, I planted rhododendrons. They don't shed their leaves in the winter, which will give the house some color during the cold months. I also bought some real cheap mums to use as ground cover. No matter how hard I try, I still get a lot of clover and still some thistle. I'm hoping to choke the bitch weeds out over the next year.

Now, my backyard is a different story. See we got these pesky neighbors that really love hanging out on their deck. There's nothing wrong with that mind you, but the weak ass fence they put up still doesn't block our view from them. We have a single story house, they have a bi-level. Their bi-level beats our house. Sad face.

So, my wonderful coworker was nice enough to GIVE!!!!, give us seven Rose of Sharon bushes. Holla! Who's going to be blocked out in about two years? Oh yeah the neighbors! Ryan did help me dig the holes for the majority of the plants. Our house was built on a giant rock farm. There's like two inches of soil and then rock. Lots of rocks, little rocks, big rocks. It's all rock. I did have to go for supplies and Ryan got a shower, so he couldn't help me finish with the plants. I'm pretty sure that was by design. That's why some of them look like they are leaning to the left. I'm not a good tyer-upper. Whatev dude.

Sophie my never leaving side kick

This Rose of Sharon and another one went into shock and lost
all of its leaves. I had to nurse them back to health. I refuse to
see my neighbors!

I think the key to making plants live is being a little obsessive about it. You have to be hovering over the plants all the time. Do they need water? Do they have too much water? Do they need trimmed, how about some miracle grow? I was especially nutty with the backyard plants I was outside checking on them for the first couple of months two sometimes three times a day. You may thinks that's insane, and under normal circumstances it would be. But I like to hot tub NUDE. I walk around my house in front of the sliding glass door with limited clothes on. I have to make these plants live.