30 Days 30 Blogs.....Morning routine

Last night I found this awesome blog site called {tinniegirl}. I find a lot of cool shit very randomly And it challenged peeps to post a blog every day in the month of October. It's actually called Blogtoberfest 2011. Challenge you say? Yes, I accept. The only thing I keep thinking about is do I have enough content for a month? Will I bore you with every day posts? Can I really be funny/witty/awesome/charming/fabulous/cool/hip/out of sight for a whole month? Hell yeah I can be! But maybe only to myself and to my dogs. But you're going to see it and read it for a whole month.

First up, is my morning routine. It's the same thing every day almost. It may change slightly on the weekend because Ryan and I like to go out for breakfast. (The dogs still get up at six a.m., those bastards!) But it's going to be filled with lots of pictures of what I do it the morning! Like a kids storybook! Yeah!

Jada and Sophie

First things first. I wake up and this is what I see. Not awesome. Two little girls all up in my face and shit. As soon as my alarm goes of or their internal clock (set of course at 6am) they are all about eating. Now you may ask, why are they so close to your face Rita? My answer is Ryan was snoring like a MONSTER and I went to the couch to get some actual zzzzzzzz's.

I have to pee before anything gets done. I get the stare down from Sophie. Jada is probably drinking the whole bowl of water because she's so excited.

Next step is to feed the Bees. I called them my Bees, it's short for babes. They pretty much inhale food on contact with the bowl. I proceed to let them out, cuz they gots to go potty too.

Coffee time bitches

Eggs, yes I will eat them. I normally would do two eggs and a piece of toast, but wouldn't ya know we are out of toast. Oh well, eggs it is.

 

Time to check the blog. And FB, and the Weather Channel. Not that the weather really screws with my day, but I look for Ryan. Then it's back to FB and my blog.

Oh, two little girls praying to the Food God. Anyone can be the Food God. You just have to have food.

Shower time equals tooth brush time, make up time, deodarant time.

Waiting for me to be done with my makeup.

Time to pick a Monday thru Friday outfit for work.

Sorry Sophie, you have to go in the cage because you cannot handle yourself.

Out the door to my car.

I've entered the shit box, I mean the Saturn. Time to start singing...loud.

I sort of have a green thumb.

I’ve always wanted to have a garden. As I was growing up, we didn’t have too much going on  besides tulips. Over the years, my parents tried to grow things, but I don’t think they had the magic touch. Moreover, we had a huge maple-like tree out front that wouldn’t allow anything but crab grass to grow.

Now that we have a house, my money has and is being spent on landscaping. I can finally have the yard I’ve always dreamt about! Too bad my yard is a wreck and goddamn plants are expensive. But I still try.

We bought our house in the winter when all the superman-ish weeds had died. We didn’t really know what we were getting into. When I talk about the weeds we had, I don't mean some dandelion shit. I'm talking six foot thistle. Six Freakin Feet. Taller than myself. This shit just kept poppin up and I just kept pulling it out. If it got too big, (the stuff grows fast), I would douse it with poison. We even hired a lawn company, but then I sent them pictures of how shitty of a job they were doing, they stopped coming.

We had to take matters in to our own thumbs. When I say we I really mean mostly me. Ryan does the big hard stuff like try not to cut his limbs off with the chainsaw. I do the rest. His arm is fucked up right now, so I have to let it rest until winter. Need the man for snow shovelin.

Here are some before and after picks.

Horrible Bushes

More Horrible Bushes

Sorry this is so dark, I took it the day the wood cutters came to take down this shitty spikey ball
droppin tree. I still occasionally find them in my yard. Gum Trees, I wish them on my enemies.

No Bushes! Thanks Ryan

  

Here's the beautiful Kwanzan Cherry Tree to replace the nasty ones

FYI, I am def getting some flack from Ryan about why I didn't get all yellow mums. Sorry!

Instead of those monster bushes, I planted rhododendrons. They don't shed their leaves in the winter, which will give the house some color during the cold months. I also bought some real cheap mums to use as ground cover. No matter how hard I try, I still get a lot of clover and still some thistle. I'm hoping to choke the bitch weeds out over the next year.

Now, my backyard is a different story. See we got these pesky neighbors that really love hanging out on their deck. There's nothing wrong with that mind you, but the weak ass fence they put up still doesn't block our view from them. We have a single story house, they have a bi-level. Their bi-level beats our house. Sad face.

So, my wonderful coworker was nice enough to GIVE!!!!, give us seven Rose of Sharon bushes. Holla! Who's going to be blocked out in about two years? Oh yeah the neighbors! Ryan did help me dig the holes for the majority of the plants. Our house was built on a giant rock farm. There's like two inches of soil and then rock. Lots of rocks, little rocks, big rocks. It's all rock. I did have to go for supplies and Ryan got a shower, so he couldn't help me finish with the plants. I'm pretty sure that was by design. That's why some of them look like they are leaning to the left. I'm not a good tyer-upper. Whatev dude.

Sophie my never leaving side kick

This Rose of Sharon and another one went into shock and lost
all of its leaves. I had to nurse them back to health. I refuse to
see my neighbors!

I think the key to making plants live is being a little obsessive about it. You have to be hovering over the plants all the time. Do they need water? Do they have too much water? Do they need trimmed, how about some miracle grow? I was especially nutty with the backyard plants I was outside checking on them for the first couple of months two sometimes three times a day. You may thinks that's insane, and under normal circumstances it would be. But I like to hot tub NUDE. I walk around my house in front of the sliding glass door with limited clothes on. I have to make these plants live. 

Say Whaaaaatt?

I love music. I listen to it all day at work. I cannot actually do a good job unless there's some tunes on in the background. Working out? If there's no music, I might as well not bother, cuz I'm going to suck. I listen to music while mowing the grass, throwing the ball and walking the dogs. I don't listen to music while going Number 2. That requires complete concentration and apparently silence. (Too much info?)

I don't even need to listen to pop, I can do everything except newer country. I love the blues, love rock, and definitely love opera and classical.

That being said, I don't know the words to some of the songs I hear. Sometimes I hum along or just make up some words. If I'm in the car, I'm definitely making the words up. In this blog I will go into songs in which I have no freakin clue as to what they are saying. I guess with the Internet I could look up the lyrics, but I'm too lazy.

Black Crowes- Hard to Handle

.27-.29 I got some more love and a ball in stone?
.39-42 I'm so hard to handle gizz around? What is a gizz around? Is he saying gizzard like a turkey? I have no idea....
1.28-1.30 I'm a man on the O scene? Does he mean the orgasm scene? Cuz I would totally be cool if he was good at that. Not that I want to do him, he's too scraggly for me.

 

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody   

Now for the record, I do know most of the words. So if you like this song you can just listen to it. But by the time I've gotten to this part of the song I am singing super loud. Really loud.

3.08-3.11 I see a little silloutte of a mad man. Scaddabush Scaddabush will you do the dang dang-o? That can't be right.

3.18-3.24 Gallelo Gallelo figuro? Figuro? Magnificoooooooe?

3.40 -3.50 He spilled life will not let you go!

3.59-4.01 Be elzabut from a devil on a sock eeeeeee...I can't even spell the garble I sing here.(My arms are waving like a lunatic having a seizure at this part.)

Peal Jam- Yellow Ledbetter

.35-.41 Hee haw hee huh on a porche of bedded something. This is one of the worst songs of the unintelligible lyrics. So much when this song comes on Ryan even makes up some random words. If you want to laugh uncontrollably, be in the car with us when this comes on. We don't harmonize.

I'm not even going to list the times where I can't understand what Eddy is singing. I can only actually understand a few words. He might as well be singing in Spanish/Latin/Russian.

Andrea Bocelli - Nessun Dorma 

I don't speak or sing Italian. But I try.

I know there are so many other songs/raps out there that would qualify for this list. What songs do you love or hate that you can't understand? Do you make the words up if you don't know them or just stop singing that part of the song? This inquiring mind needs to know!

Things that freak me out. Irrationally.

Sorry for the rudimentary drawing. Best I could do as a left hander.

1.    Spiders... big, small, medium, I don’t give a shit. You got eight legs. I want you to die. I am totally freaked out by them. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to die by a spider bite while I’m sleeping. They are literally going to all gang up and murder me. On the other hand, they could possibly be waiting for me while I’m about to get in the shower and jump on me. That way when I fall and break my neck no one will ever know it was the spiders. Funny thing is, I do love watching shows about spiders and other creepy bugs (Monster Bug Wars). I guess I have to know thy enemy.

2.    End of the earth by the sun dying/exploding. Yeah, I know this one is far out. I watch all these damn discovery/nature shows that tell me one day very far off (like millions of years) the sun is going to die. Apparently, our sun will start expanding hundreds of thousands of times larger than it already is, first scorching our planet, and then swallowing it up. I promise you I’ll be dead by the time this happens. Unless vampires come to rescue me from death.

3.    Door handles. They are freakin gross. Think about it the next time you go to open a public door. How many times has that been touched by all sort of people? Did they just scratch their crotch? How about pick boogies out of their nose? Then they touched the door handle. Yum Yum….Not! The part of this that's not rational is the fact that I touch a million gross things per day, plus chew on my pens, and this is what I worry about.

4.    Breathing in other people’s exhaled air. This is a two-parter. I hate having meetings in closed rooms. Open that door up and let some fresh air in! You know it’s just a bunch of people repeating the same shit over and over that could have been better explained in an email. Ever been in a meeting and the room gets warm? Too much expelled hot air, i.e. talking.

The second part is breathing in air, mostly from Ryan while we are sleeping. Since I don’t sleep in bed with anyone else he’s the only one freaking me out. He’ll face me and he’s like six inches from my face. He’ll just breathe his hot, hot, hot, breath on me. I’m breathing in his carbon dioxide! I could get brain damage or wake up stupider because I wasn’t getting enough oxygen to my brain. If I have a bad day at work, I’m totally blaming Ryan for stealing my smart air! 

5.    Falling down the upper deck of a stadium. I get major vertigo. I practically have to crawl up the stairs on my hands and knees to get to my seat. It’s quite a ridiculous sight watching me. I'm fine once I sit down, but getting there is the problem. I blame all my expensive ground level seats on this fear.  

6.    Having all the electric power knocked out by a solar flare. Or a meteor fucking up the earth bringing us back to the middle ages. Again, this is quite silly. However, on those damn discovery/science shows they always say how it’s been so long since the earth has experienced anything like that. But scientists are quick to say that earth is due for something catastrophic. That doesn’t really freak me out, but I’m not a farmer. I barely made it through the summer with my tomatoes. How will I last if I don’t know how to farm?!? I’m an extremely bad shot with a gun, so killing things is also out of the picture.

 

7.    Scary movies. When I was a kid, I used to be able to watch tons of B-horror films, Freddy Kruger and the like. But as I got older, my ability has decreased exponentially. I believe the reason is because most of the shit we watch during these movies can really happen. Literally and truly, happen. Yes, someone is now perverse enough to hang you on a meat hook from your lats and chop your body up from the feet up all while keeping you alive. Sorry, if I gave any new serial killers an idea. I just can’t handle watching shit that people can really do to me. I’m not black, so I know I wouldn't be the first to die, but I’m slow, so there would be a lot of screaming from me. Ugh. The horror. The contrast to this is I do love reading about serial killers and watching those types of documentary shows on A&E. I think the lack of theatrical music and the monotone voice of the narrator let me detach from the violence.

So what kinds of things bug you out? Any of the same things that I have listed? My husband tells me I should stop watching so much TV.

 

Steals and Deals

Yesterday’s trip to the Salvation Army (Camp Hill, PA) was fruitful, but not for shirts and pants. Typically, I never find shoes that I like there. This time was the exception.

My search for shirts proved to be disastrous. Either all the shirts that were too large or I picked out things that I had no business trying on. It’s never a good thing when you try to put something on and your head and one arm gets stuck. My eyes were definitely were not working. LOL

I ended up flailing around with my arms waving about like an idiot. I’m pretty sure that I was muttering swear words. It’s never good when you hear fabric rip. Thank god, they don’t have cameras in the changing rooms. I’m pretty sure I would have won money from America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ugh! If you could pictures a Tyrannosaurus Rex trying on tiny midget clothes, that's what I looked like. I think I was also making RAWR sounds too.

 

So let’s talk about my shoes that I got. Here’s the thing whether you like it or not fall is upon us. Get ready for the temperature to go down. (Yes!) But what does that mean? That means I can stop shaving my legs so much, and I don’t have to have my toes painted every second of the day.

 

I actually hate having my feet covered, but if I have to have my toes locked up and under wraps, then I guess I can do it in these shoes.

$7.99 are you out of your mind? Yes, yes I am.

Yes, I had to have the pirate flag as the back drop.

$5.99 still had original tags on it.

Dr. Scholl's

 Both shoes are genuine leather. Score for me. Usually I don't buy leather, my dogs like it too much.

Friday Night Delight

Friday night was a such a blast. Ryan and I met up with our friend's Steph and Brett to eat at MoMo's BBQ & Grill and listen to Nate Myers & the Aces. MoMo's is in Harrisburg on Market Street. I didn't realize they have a blues night every Friday. Nate Myers is a awesome bluesy band. It's been years since I seen them play live. But I tracked them down and they were great!

When we arrived at MoMo's, the staff greeted us and led us to a table. I turned around and saw a HUGE wall full of the different kinds of beer they serve. At that time angels and lights from heaven were shining down on me. Ryan and I quickly started looking over the book they gave us. He got a chocolate stout, I got some monster size beer. It was very good.

Really nice size bar and lots of big TVs

No matter what the size, it's still only one beer

Ryan the hubby

When Steph and Brett arrived we ordered appetizers. We each got an order of chicken and pulled pork BBQ quesadillas. Man....they were supreme. I could have just ate them the rest of the night. We each order a half rack baby ribs and sides. Ryan ordered the brisket. I wish I had enough room to poach some of his. There was so much food, I could barely finish my entree. Only thing I could have changed about the meal was I thought the ribs were a little well done. Don't worry folks, I still ate them all.

Brett and Steph

Ryan's brisket and Stella. Nom Nom Nom

The service was great. Our waitress was on point with recommendations, didn't push us or leave us hanging. She always seemed to know when we need more beers or shots. We each ordered two snake bites and two captain on acids. I'll know next time to stick with beer. They were literally in shot glasses. When we've ordered them at other bars and there was always so much liquid it was hard to swallow all of it at one time.

Nate Myers & the Aces

Nate Myers started playing promptly at 8 p.m. They were great. How many times do you get to hear some play the harmonica well? The whole band rocked it for hours. People were dancing, Steph and I chair danced too. Spent too much money. It was a freakin awesome night.

Things...I like

1. I love my dogs. I got them from the Humane Society. I wouldn’t give them up for the world. Therefore, I would like to request to the TV people that they cannot play any more dog or cat commercials from Sarah McLaughlin. I’ve done my duty. I don’t need to see your commercial without feeling as if I have to run out and adopt 13 more dogs and 10 cats. Thank you.

Sophie, diligently watching me go pee

Jada, very sleepy Jada

2. I like telling baggers or ringer-uppers to have a great day. I don't just say have a good day, but have a great day. I think it makes their day. And most of them are honestly surprised I’m not a total asshole like the rest of the people in line behind me.

3. I really like getting the trash out on time. I know the trash comes Thursday morning. I could certainly put it out the night before, but that would be way too hard. I hear the trash trucks in the morning and totally freak out because WE forgot to put the trash out. If not this week, hopefully I remember for next week.

4. Showing up to work before everyone else. I usually do that most days. But I think it’s great that my coworkers have no idea if I’ve been working hard for a half hour or five minutes.

5. I like having days off work. Isn’t that a given for most people? Totally. But I’ve been at my job for a long time, so I get a lot of time off. I TAKE A LOT OF TIME OFF.

6. I love Adele. I guess you realized that if you paid attention to my other post. I don’t like that the tickets to see her are like $400.00 apiece. Yikes. I didn’t know I had to take out a loan to see the girl perform.

7. Fall. My fav time of year. Nice days and cool nights. Perfect hot tubbing weather. Love the crunching of the leaves as I walk through my neighbors nice pile and fuck it all up.

8. Barry White. And when I say his name even in my head, I try to lower my voice to the level of smoothness he possessed. I think my voice sounds a little like a drag queen when I do this. His songs are sexy time songs. All of them.

9. When I let someone pull out in front of my car and the driver waves to thank me. I don’t care if you totally cut me off within an inch of slamming into my car. Your waving is all the thank you I need. And I appreciate it.

10. Love listening to opera music in my car. I try to sing with it. Which makes me sound like I’m dying a painful death, but it’s fun.

11. I like the silence I get when I tell people my last name over the phone. There’s always a pause or a chuckle. My last name has a part of the body that rhymes with MONER. No one like to say my last name or they will intentionally say it incorrectly after I’ve spelled in out for them. It’s a freaking riot.

P.S.

If you don't know what rhymes with MONER. I can't help you in life.