Monday, October 31, 2011

What I've Learned-Blogtoberfest 2011

I have learned a lot from the Blogtoberfest 2011. I like blogging, but I really don't put out good material everyday. I'm more of 2-3 times a week kind of girl. I like to blog when I've done something fun or I need to rant for a bit.

I have found it is hard to read other people's blog because I'm so darn busy with my own. I'm neglecting part of the reason for blogging. Connecting with other people. I feel like I have been just throwing shit at the wall to throw shit at the wall.

I'm not upset with myself for doing the every day blog thing. I think it was a good exercise to get me in the habit of blogging. It's very easy for me to stop doing something. That could be a good or a bad thing, I don't know which one.

Some nights I would work on the blog for 4-5 hours. I'd post it and then it was time for bed. Sometimes, I'd want to continue on a thought but for lack of time I would just hurry up and finish. In my mind that's not what I want to put out to the world. I love to draw badly. It takes a lot more time to draw than it does to do the actual writing part. I'm a sinister lefty. But all the computer companies have made me conform to using a mouse right handed. I can do that fine. Try using a mouse pad to draw a picture with your non-dominate hand. Good luck.

Now that the month is over, I can focus on putting out what I think is quality. And if I can't come with anything, I will post pictures of my cute dogs.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Winter, Wedding, and a Halloween Party

This was the beginning of the storm

Wow what a weekend. We had a large amount of snow fall in our area and were out of power for about nine hours. The house was extremely cold. As in let's all snuggle together so we don't freeze cold. Ok, maybe not that cold but the house was 58 degrees. I like it that cold when I've just worked out in the sun for about twenty minutes. Luckily, we weren't home too much yesterday. We had a wedding and an awesome Halloween party to attend.

I really feel weird about posting pictures of people without their permission. But since a lot of the peeps dressed up, I don't feel too doucheee about it. I went as a Greaser Girl and Ryan went as a Mexican. (Insert several jokes here.)

Yeah, we know we look goofy. But who cares? It was a freakin miracle we even made it to the wedding. It snowed. A lot. Who ordered up snow for Halloween? I certainly didn't. And if this was anything but a wedding our asses would have stayed home. But guess what? It was a wedding, and we drove in the middle of the snow storm to watch our friend's Amanda and Jason tie the knot. No six inches of snow would stop us.

Mad Hatter

The Bride and Elvis. Please note the Devil is the best man.
It was a great wedding. It actually had to start late due to all the snow. It went off without a hitch. I am so happy for them both. Right after the wedding, we left to race home let the dogs out and head on out to the next party.

The next party was crazy awesome. Ryan and I didn't know many people there, so I just took a lot of pictures of the decorations. Again, I feel odd asking strangers for their photo op for my blog that they won't read. The party throwers had professional DJ Ray Rossi and a bartender. The decorations were scary. They were great!
DJ Ray Rossi and The Mexican

This dude was the scariest

Friday, October 28, 2011

Jive Turkeys

I was late coming back from work today. It was like 5 minutes late, but I have a really good reason. Jive turkeys were in my way. There were about 8 of them just hanging out in the middle of the road. I have proof.

They were literally hanging out in the middle of the street. At first I thought to myself, what the hell is that? Then I slowly as possible tried to get my darn camera phone out to take their pictures. As you can clearly see, I'm slow as shit.

They didn't want move out of the way. I had to creep my car up and beep the horn. I did manage to get a couple shots of them  in the brush. They were in no hurry and didn't seem to mind me.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What goes on in my brain during the day?-NSFW

If I were an asshole, I would post things all the time on Facebook that just pop up in my head. However, I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to know what is in my head at all times. After typing this all out I realize I really like having off. That's pretty much all I've deduced.

This is what I would post on a normal day if I had free reign and I didn’t think you would block me from verbally vomming on your page.

6:00 OMG Why am I awake?

6:02 OMG Why is that dog crying? (Sophie the asshole) Is it ok to murder dogs? Check with Michael Vick later.

6:03 Feeding the dogs. Why can’t they feed themselves again?

6:08 Fuck it’s dark out, why am I up again? Maybe I should take the day off.

6:09 I must go to the bathroom or there is going to be a puddle.

6:12 Coffee, where is my fucking coffee? If I don’t get some coffee, my head is going to explode.

6:15 Hmmmm…nothing in the fridge. Fuck. Guess I’ll check Facebook.

6:20 Shower time! Holy shit this water is hot.

6:30 OMG what am I going to wear to work? I don’t think I’ve worn this shit this week. I’ll put it on.

6:40 Makeup time. Man, do I ever look tired. Maybe I should take the day off and watch Law and Order.

6:45 I don’t want to leave the house! Why am I not rich? Oh, that’s right, I don’t play the lottery and I married for love. Fuck. Note to self, next marriage will be only for money.

6:50 Getting into my car sucks, it’s still dark out and shit I need gas. Can I make it to work on E? Maybe…..

6:55 I hate touching the gas pump handle. I am positive it was dipped in shit so that I get E. Coli. I’m going to rush to the bathroom to wash my hands. I hate touching that stuff!

7:00-7:15 I hate people. Don’t they know how to fucking drive? For the love of humanity, stop driving 25 mph!

7:15 Awesome I’m at work. I can get a couple of things done before anyone is around.

7:20-7:40 Well, there went me doing extra work. Someone else is here before me and now they are talking my ear off. I don’t come early to chitchat!

7:40-9:00 Maybe I should take the afternoon off. That would be freakin awesome. I love having off. Do I have to pee? Yes, I do.

9:05 I’m listening to an irate woman try to put words in my mouth. I’m starting to get mouthy with her. Must transfer her to someone who makes more money than me.

9:15 Why is this woman still trying to argue with me? Doesn’t she know I don’t give a shit? Of course, no one is around to save me from this phone call. I think I’ll put her on hold.

9:16 Irate woman hangs up, calls back, and refuses to speak to me. Yes! She is finally transferred to someone who makes more money than me.

9:17 Finally, I get to go pee! Yeah. Peeing my pants at work would probably be embarrassing. I have not done that yet. I would put that up with crying at work.

10:00 I think I’ll eat the apple that’s been sitting here on my desk for about three days. Doesn’t taste great, but I keep eating it.

10:50 Lunch in ten minutes, awesome.
10:51 Lunch in nine minutes, awesome.
10:52 Lunch in eight minutes, awesome.
10:53 Lunch in seven minutes, awesome.
10:54 Lunch in six minutes, awesome.
10:55 Lunch in five minutes, awesome.
10:56 Lunch in four minutes, awesome.
10:57 Lunch in three minutes, awesome.
10:58 Lunch in two minutes, awesome.
10:59 Lunch in one minute, awesome.

11:00 OMG it’s freakin time for lunch! I cannot wait to go home and see the babes! Man, I hope Jada didn’t eat Dude.

11:05 People do know how to merge today! It is a fucking miracle.

11:20 Woot, I’m home! Time to see the babes!

11:25 Fuckin neighbor, let’s his dog out so Sophie can try to kill it through fence. Screaming ensues to bring all dogs back in the house before the neighbor's dog dies.

11:26 Eat whatever is available. I have an audience praying for something to drop.

11:40 Pack my shit up and head out the door. Not before putting the asshole back in her cage (Sophie). Maybe I should just call in to work and tell them I’m taking off the rest of the day. I could totally take a nap right now.

11:45 Back in the shit-mobile. I hope this car doesn't crap out on me on the highway.

11:50 OMG! People need to learn how to fuckin merge. I guess I can’t expect greatness all the time. Sigh.

11:55 Does anyone know how to fuckin sing anymore? Why does everyone sound like shit? Man, I’m getting old; time to listen to Opera.

12:00 Pull in to my parking lot. Fuck….I should call in and tell them I’m taking the rest of the day off. I could go to Salvation Army! It’s half price day!

12:05 Walking back in the office to see people waiting to talk to me. Meh….

12:15 Work work work work work work work work. Meh.

1:00 I am still diligently working! Hollah! I’m usually a really good worker in the morning. I must be crazy.

1:30 Do I have to pee again? Maybe, but I’d like to look at myself in the mirror. I’m going to head to the bathroom again. Note to self, drink more water.

1:33 (In the bathroom) I wonder if someone outside the door can hear me pee? Must wash hands to the happy birthday song. Look in the mirror make sure there isn’t anything stuck in my teeth. It’s time to fix my boobs too, gotta make sure they are even.

2:30 Hmmmmm… I could go for an afternoon snack. Let’s look for some change in my purse. Oh, there’s none of course, but there’s a yogurt that I forgot to put in the fridge this morning. I guess that’s going in the trash. Fuck.

3:30 The countdown to leaving begins. Actually, it began at 6:01 this morning.

3:31-3:45 Accidentally, start daydreaming. I imagine that I am rich and I’m telling people to fuck off. Repeatedly.

4:00 I wonder if I should leave work early. I mean it’s a half hour, I could totally go home and hang out with the dogs.

4:05 People are talking to me again about things that I don’t care about!

4:20 Leaving in ten minutes, awesome.
4:21 Leaving in nine minutes, awesome.
4:22 Leaving in eight minutes, awesome.
4:23 Leaving in seven minutes, awesome.
4:24 Leaving in six minutes, awesome.
4:25 Leaving in five minutes, awesome.
4:26 Leaving in four minutes, awesome.
4:27 Leaving in three minutes, awesome.
4:28 Leaving in two minutes, awesome.
4:29 Leaving in one minute, awesome.

4:30 OMG it’s freakin time to leave! I cannot wait to go home and see the babes and Ryan! Man, I hope Jada didn’t eat Dude.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I'm trying to sleep! F*&K!

It never ceases to amaze me when I read these articles about couples sleeping together. I don't mean doin it together, I mean the part after the man passes out on top of you and you have to push him off so you don't get drooled on. For the record, I am not saying this ever happens to me after sex.

I don't like to be touched while sleeping. I don't like to be breathed on while sleeping. I certainly do not want you facing me stealing all my oxygen!

I'm looking at these positions and shuddering in horror. Do I have to sleep like that to be a good wife? If I'm not snuggled right beside Ryan does this mean we're not in a good relationship? Whatever happened to just sleeping so I don't act like an asshole the next day to my coworkers? Why do these experts think we need to hang all over each other to be good partners while we are awake? I personally think it's to fill up magazine space so I can freak out over what I'm not doing right in my marriage.

I say fuck that. I don't need to worry about fucking up my relationship with my husband while I'm sleeping, I got that covered during the day. Just kidding, my marriage is the shiznit. But here's a hand drawn sample of what we look like when we are sleeping.

Literally, Ryan is probably smiling and I am grimacing. And my eyes turn into x's when I'm mad.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Halloween Part 1

This past Saturday Ry and I attended a great Halloween party. This is the first of many that we are attending this year. I like dressing up for Halloween, but I'm a scaredy cat through and through. Here are a couple pictures from the party. Unfortunately, I have zero of me and Ryan together. What the heck?

My friend Missy and Me. God, my boobs are on too much display!

The party definitely kicked some major ass. I don't know how it can be outdone. I'm sure though some where some way one of our friends will do it. Just don't look to us. We totally suck at throwing parties. We're good shower-uppers. And leaver-earliers. It's not that we like to leave an awesome party, it's just that we have to drive home. Yes, I know we could always stay the night, but there's nothing like sleeping in your own bed. Plus, we usually party more when we get to the domicile.
Ryan looks quite disturbed, perfect for the blog!

Darryl and Me -Shot time
It was buttery nipple shot, normally I'm not up for the sugary stuff, but it's out of syringe looking thing.

Ryan being very serious about pool.

There were a couple more photos of me and other peeps I could have put up, but I'm seriously critical of my own photos. They pretty much have to be freakin awesome or me looking absolutely ridiculous for me to put them up. Plus, I never put up photos of other people without first asking their permission. It's the non-asshole part of me. 

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Big dog in a little bed-Part II

Can anyone tell me what is wrong with this picture? Why is Sophie in Dude's bed? All three dogs use the beds interchangeably. But seriously, another big dog in a small bed.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I had a baby!

Sike, just kidding, no babies at this house. But I did have a nightmare/dream about having a baby. And not just any baby, an Indian baby. I don't mean a Native American baby, but a baby from a person from India. What!?! This is what happens I guess when you drink red wine, then white wine, then back to red wine.

I have fucked up dreams all the time. I could probably have a blog just about my dreams alone. A lot of times I'm getting kidnapped and limbs get cut off. Sometimes I'm sold into slavery or I'm crashing my car drunk. Really weird shit, always in color. I must be a really conflicted person or something.

In this dream I'm on a labor table, if that's what you call it, and I'm pushing out a baby. First thing that pops in my head is, when did I get pregnant? Then as I'm pushing to get this thing out of me, I shit myself, which is gross. I think this does happen to people when they really give birth. This Indian doctor is helping me give birth and it is his baby. Again, I'm thinking to myself I had sex with this dude? What happened to Ryan?

I guess the baby comes out and I take it home with me leaving the father at his practice, which happens to be on Main Street in Mechanicsburg, near the G-Man, of course I live with Ryan at our old School House apartment. I ask myself why did I forget to tell my work I need off to care for this child. Why did I forget???? I get home to Ryan and I guess we decide I'm not taking care of this child. It looks like an Indian child, definitely not Ryan's kid.

Ryan and I then drive back to the doctor's house/practice to give him back this child. I don't want it. I'm pretty sure it's a boy, and it looks like the doctor. I write up this whole agreement stating that I'm not responsible for the child and I give him full custody. Even in my dreams I'm making sure I'm not paying child support.

Needless to say, I woke up terrified at 4:30 a.m. WTF

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Dude Abides

Got a new doggie after searching for a new addition for a month or so. We are super happy to have the babe, his name is The Dude. Or Dude for short. He is a pug and about two years old. We would have preferred to have an older dog, but when there's a good fit you just gotta run with it.

We named him The Dude partly because his original name was Duke. Duke is an OK name, Dude is way cooler. Every time I think of The Dude, I think of the movie The Big Lebowski. I love The Dude. I love Jeff Bridges as the Dude. Ryan doesn't understand why I think he's so hot in that part. He just is Ryan, he just is.

OK, without further ado, here are some super cute pics of The Dude.

I bought Dude a cute little squeaky toy. It lasted exactly 18 hours. He really liked it, but Jada murdered it while I was work. I came home during lunch to find guts laying about. I'm going to have to find something a little more sturdy. The girls usually have calcium bones, it's the only thing they don't destroy in fifteen minutes.

Sophie looks depressed as usual. Her ego has really taken a hit. Everyday she seems to get a little better, but I think she knows the love is now divided into three parts instead of 50/50. Whether Sophie likes it or not, they all get big heaping piles of love. Every damn day.

I'm not sure what this face is saying, but he's just so darn cute. I've pretty much made my mind up he will never sleep in bed with us. He snores like a Mo' Fo.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Peaceful Creek

I had this past Monday off. I pretty much did jack shit. I didn't even try to clean. I'm a real good cleaner when Ryan's not around making me watch cool TV shows. I did happen to stop by the creek in Upper Allen Township, PA. I love this place. I used to remember going there as a child and trying to pan for gold. I was pretty sure that I was going to find some and get rich.

In my teenage years I went to the creek to get away from whatever drama was searching for me. As I got older I started going less and less. Then I pretty much stopped. It wasn't like I was mad at the creek or anything. I just didn't have time for it. Relaxing and doing nothing is always done at home. Monday I decided what the heck, I'll stop by for old times sake. Here are some of the pictures I got from my outing.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Big dog in a little bed

I'm kind of pooped from my weekend of glory. We went to Alfred's Victorian in Middletown, PA last night for the most fantastic dinner of the year. This morning we headed over to Adam's County Winery for a wine tour and tasting.

All this hooplah has left me tired. I watched several episodes of Up All Night and a couple Law & Orders. I meant to blog earlier today. But then earlier became later and later just didn't happen.

Therefore, you get big dog in a little bed. We originally got these two "dog beds" real cheap from that thing called the Internet. When they arrived we realized they were for small pets, not for 50lb dogs. My deceased cat Ozzy would lay in the bed when he wasn't doing bad things.

We got the bed out because we are giving it to Ryan's parents to use for their new dog. Jada has squeezed herself into the bed. She's been in it for hours. I'd have some pictures of Sophie, but she's only cute when she's sleeping. And she's been sick most of the day. Her sad little face is not camera ready.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Johnny Joes & Adrian Blitzer

We were out last night like a boner in sweat pants. Last night was the official party night of our anniversary. We first stopped to visit with the Ryan's folks and Uncle Bob at Snappers. We then made our way over to Johnny Joes to meet up with other friends to listen to Adrian Blitzer rock the house.

Johnny Joes

First off, I love Johnny Joes, they always show us the best time. We always get wonderful service. And when you spend money you want to get good service. As to not become an idiot, we ordered a $5.00 large pizza. I got half mushrooms (Yum!) and Ryan had half pepperoni. The pizza was awesome! It was super hot and tasted really fresh. The only bad thing was that we forgot to take the left overs home with us. Sad Face!

Ryan scooped up his slices before I could get my camera out.
The pizza was very tasty.

Captain on Acid
Brett & Ryan
Steph & Ryan
Steph, Erica, & Ryan
Ryan may have his head down in embarrassment
Later on Steph and I were trying to do sexy faces at the camera.
Please note, I do not have a sexy face. I have a smiley face or
a face that looks slightly retarded. Here is my sexy face aka retard look.
I will not put Steph's sexy time face up, I only like to embarrass myself.

Now, the reason we are at the bar at all is to see Adrian Blitzer. This band is freakin rad. I had taken plenty of video with my phone, but I'm not video person. My hand keeps moving like I have Parkinsons. Not good at all. Then I kept moving it back to the bar where we were sitting so I could watch us ALL sing along badly. I found a couple songs off Youtube that show case the band a little better than me.

This video is when they played at the Drinkin Bone in Wormelysburg, PA. Ring of Fire, Johnny Cash

The band played all kinds of awesome songs. Kid Rock, Johnny Cash, Snoop Dog, Green Day, Creep by Radio Head, Jay-Z, Sublime. I knew and sang to the best of my ability every song with them.


Friday, October 14, 2011

Anniversary Breakfast

Happy Anniversary to me, Happy anniversary to me, Haaaappy anniversary to me...I mean us! Happy anniversary to us! This morning Ryan surprised me by taking off too. I had today off, but as usual, he didn't request off in time. So, I was just going to putz around today, maybe watch multiple episodes of Law and Order. But Ry got the day off! And I am soooo happy!

Today is magic number five. Ryan and I have been in wedded bliss for five years. LOL. Maybe it hasn't been bliss every moment, but I won't complain about my marriage. It has been pretty damn awesome so far. We do whatever we want all the time and have the debt to prove it.

Before I give you my anniversary breakfast pictures, I'm going to bore you with the story of how Ryan proposed. It's laced with obscenities, so children may not want to read this next part.

Ryan and I have been together pretty much since 1996. It has not been all sunshine and pink hearts. But it 2005 we were solidly together hanging out in my townhouse. I was washing some dishes (miracle!) and we were bantering back and forth. Now, I'm all about the marriage thing, we've now been going on nine freakin years. Marry me or just kill me already.

While still washing the dishes I wave/flail my arms around and in my most whiniest voice ask Ryan when are we getting married. I'm pretty sure there was a foot stomping in there too. Ryan returns with, "You wanna fucking get married? Let's go to the fucking mall and get a fucking ring." And right then and there we had my proposal.

We went to the mall right after we ate.

Best Pancake mix I've ever used. Biscuit is good, but this is better

Don't forget the thick bacon!

More rose pics

Here is the finished product. Note, there are no glasses for the milk and juice. We don't need no stinkin glasses, we're high classin it. Plus, we don't have kids to replicate us drinking out of the carton.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Peeps be jealous

Sooo....originally I was going to post about my father in law's awesome potato soup. But that just got bumped til tomorrow. Tomorrow is me and Ry's five year wedding anniversary. Eat that for dinner! Quite a few people thought we were definitely not going to be married this long. But, that is a whole different blog post.

Anyhow he had a dozen beautiful long stem roses delivered to my office. The first things my coworkers' said was now I better put out. I love the people I work with! I replied yes, I would make sure everyone will be taken care of in my house. LOL

These flowers are so big, I couldn't even get them in the whole pic!!

Don't the flowers look great against my orange walls?

Ryan could have sent me these flowers at home tomorrow, but he wants peeps to be jealous up in this piece. And you know what? I'm totally cool with that. Can't wait for the rest of the weekend to start.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Repeat After Me!

I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym.  I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym. I will go to the gym.

Repeat as necessary until I actually go to the gym.

I think I like paying for a gym membership. But I'm pretty sure I have lost my ability to drive my car in that general direction.

Is it bad that I know the exact date I stopped really going to the gym? It was June 27, 2010. Now, don't get me wrong, I've stopped and started the gym so many freakin times that I've lost count. But this past time I knew the exact day that I got complacent/lazy/tired/hungry. I was on a roll and figured that roll would just keep going even if I didn't do anything and I ate everything.

For losing weight and being healthy, I have to work out and eat right AT THE SAME TIME. None of this half assed shit other people do. It's most definitely work out AND eat right. It works when I do both at the same time.

Before I continue on, I know I hear peeps in the background saying, but Rita you're pretty/awesome/special. Yes, I agree I am special, awesome, and pretty.  And thank god, I have a good face! Some people will say, I'm happy the way I am, you should be too. I am happy. In fact, I think I'm rad. I just don't feel like shopping at Lane Bryant all the fucking time. Thank you very much.

The previous two years I had my health on my mind. Then it just slipped away in a mouthful of jelly donuts and fried foods. By the way, they were all very tasty.

So last month I meant to go to the gym. Then it was last week, then it was yesterday but we had to grocery shopping. Today is the day. My ass with the zip lining bruises is going to the gym.

I went home for lunch and packed my bag to go to the gym RIGHT AFTER WORK. I'm looking around for my new gym shoes. Where are they? Mind you, I look everywhere in the house except my closet. I'm positive I would not have put them away in my closet. Finally, I am make my way to my closet and they still are not there!

Where could they have gone?!?! Did Ryan hide them so I could feel like a dumbass for not putting them away? Did he hide them so I would just come home and hang out? For your info, he would never do anything like that to sabotage me, it's just me freaking out now about what the hell I did with my shoes. I couldn't possibly have lost the shoes already? I just wore the damn things on Saturday. Did one of the dogs eat my shoes? WHERE ARE MY DAMN SHOES?

Then it dawns on me. (The Ah Hah moment) They are in my car. Coolio right? No, not freaking coolio. My car is in a parking lot in Lancaster because Ryan parked my car there while he drives his work vehicle home. (His car is way more awesomer than mine.)


What do I do now? Should I pretend to go to the gym and hang out at Barnes and Nobles? Should I quickly go buy ANOTHER pair of shoes because I am not organized? No and no.

I'm going to wear my beautiful naturally dyed green shoes. Courtesy of mowing the grass. Am I a little embarrassed that I'm wearing my yard sneakers? A little, but repeat after me....I am going to the gym.