Friday, October 21, 2011

I had a baby!

Sike, just kidding, no babies at this house. But I did have a nightmare/dream about having a baby. And not just any baby, an Indian baby. I don't mean a Native American baby, but a baby from a person from India. What!?! This is what happens I guess when you drink red wine, then white wine, then back to red wine.

I have fucked up dreams all the time. I could probably have a blog just about my dreams alone. A lot of times I'm getting kidnapped and limbs get cut off. Sometimes I'm sold into slavery or I'm crashing my car drunk. Really weird shit, always in color. I must be a really conflicted person or something.

In this dream I'm on a labor table, if that's what you call it, and I'm pushing out a baby. First thing that pops in my head is, when did I get pregnant? Then as I'm pushing to get this thing out of me, I shit myself, which is gross. I think this does happen to people when they really give birth. This Indian doctor is helping me give birth and it is his baby. Again, I'm thinking to myself I had sex with this dude? What happened to Ryan?

I guess the baby comes out and I take it home with me leaving the father at his practice, which happens to be on Main Street in Mechanicsburg, near the G-Man, of course I live with Ryan at our old School House apartment. I ask myself why did I forget to tell my work I need off to care for this child. Why did I forget???? I get home to Ryan and I guess we decide I'm not taking care of this child. It looks like an Indian child, definitely not Ryan's kid.

Ryan and I then drive back to the doctor's house/practice to give him back this child. I don't want it. I'm pretty sure it's a boy, and it looks like the doctor. I write up this whole agreement stating that I'm not responsible for the child and I give him full custody. Even in my dreams I'm making sure I'm not paying child support.

Needless to say, I woke up terrified at 4:30 a.m. WTF

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