Sunday, October 9, 2011

Zip Lining Part II

Now that I have almost recovered from my hangover from last night, I can tell you about how I was the most hated person in the zip lining group (well deserved). It all started out so well. There was so much promise that this was going to be an awesome adventure. Yesterday's weather could not have been more perfect. It was beautiful outside.

It was me, Sherry my awesome M-I-L, and her friend Kim. I was horrible with my recuitement of people. (Thank God!) We got our gear on and headed up the mountain. I should have realized that when the instructor said you will be high off the ground that I should have quit. There will a lot of should haves in this blog.

The ride up the mountain was nice and easy. No panic yet. I could have rode that a couple times. This was the view at the top.

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First Zip
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The view from the platform

Me, Kim, and Sherry

Take a good hard look at that happy face. That's the last time you'll see it. This is still pre-zip. 
Little pre zipping jitters

I did it! And this is the last time I have fun. Why couldn't we just keep doing this one over and over and over and over and over again? Once you get on to the platform you have climb down this net thing. The instructor told us that if we let go, we just fall to the bottom of the net and it's tied off so you can't fall to the ground. Of course, I got stuck in the god damn net thing. And I let go and fell to the bottom. I was flopping in this net like a caught fish. I barely managed to get myself out of the thing. I had to crawl up on the platform by my belly. Not my proudest moment, but there's worse to come. There was another net to crawl down to get back down to the ground. I pretty much scooched my way down giving myself an incredible wedgie.

Next up is more non-awesomeness. We had to walk over this super wobbly wooden "bridge" if that's what you'd call it. Then right after that, you can see next rope-like death trap wire "bridge" that I barely made it across. I wasn't hyperventaliating quite yet. But I was sweating profusely and shaking. Oh and swearing. There were a lot of swear words. This is where I stopped having fun.

The next couple shots will be of Sherry and Kim doing the next couple obsticles. I'm pretty much having an anxiety attack and can no longer do anything but swear.

In this picture is the next zip platform. The instructor tells us this is the POINT OF NO RETURN. That means it's all zipping for the next 45-60 minutes. We'll be high and the platforms will be small. Once you start, supposedly there's no way down except if the have to belay you. NO WAY DOWN. You might as well have been telling me, that Rita you are going to die. Panic is increasing. I told the instructor I quit.

Everyone in the group was horrified that I wanted to stop. I'm like dudes and dudettes, I really don't care what you think. I'm a pussy. I quit. But I didn't quit. I should have quit. I could have saved the last ounce of what dignity I had. Everyone went I was still standing on solid ground. At the last moment, I was like F-it, I'm going. I took a big step of the rock and went. Holla, I made it. That's when shit hit the wall.

I decided I'm going to go balls to the walls. I'm going first. I went first and zipped right into the platform with my ass and leg. Yup. Full force. No slowing down. I could see the instructor yelling at me as I'm flying through the air. I'm coming in real hot and I know it. But I couldn't hear his words and everything the instructors told me to do I didn't do. It was like he was going in slow video motion. Thank god, for the padding on my body cushioned the blow. Just kidding, it really fucking hurt. Bad. As soon as the instructor got me up on the tiny platform I yelled. I QUIT! He's like ok.

But wait Rita, didn't you just say that you are past the POINT OF NO RETURN? Why yes, I did say that. And that is exactly how I became the most hated person in the group. The instructor has to radio to another worker to come get my dumbass. Mind you, we are 40 feet in the trees. I am hugging the tree while he preps the rope to belay my ass down. No one else can zip to the platform. I hold everyone else up for like 20 minutes while they get me down.

I hate being that person that fucks the whole group up. I should have quit before the POINT OF NO RETURN. Because then I wouldn't have tie a rope around me and take a step off the platform and get slowly dropped down 40 feet. I was extremely apologetic to the dude that had to save me and to the dude that had to drive me to the bottom.

The last thing he said to me was, well see ya around. My reply was, no you won't.

1 comment:

  1. OMG. It kind of sounds like a nightmare. I'm so glad I didn't go and take Jackie b/c she is afraid of heights......and it sounds as though it would have been nothing short of a disaster haha.